The Metrosexual Man vs. The Cowboy- What Do Women Want?

The Metrosexual Man vs. The Cowboy- What DO Women Want?



He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in a t-shirt

and jeans or heading out to a black-tie event. His hair never

has a bad day. His nails are clean and buffed. His clothes are

perfectly pressed and exquisitely coordinated. He smells like

flowers and spice. Is he gay? No, he's the new metrosexual man.



As many of you know by now, the term "metrosexual" was coined by

a journalist (and gay man) named Mark Simpson, to describe a new

kind of urban male who is straight, but in touch with his

feminine side and not afraid to show it.



Essentially,

metrosexuals are guys who take on behaviors and show an interest

in things that have traditionally belonged in the female domain.



You may have a metrosexual brother, male friend or boyfriend

(ex). These are the guys you can shop till you drop with. They

can discuss fashion, will notice your great new shoes, buy their

grooming products from the same places you do and have no qualms

about having a manicure, pedicure or facial. You can actually

TALK to these guys about something other than sports, cars and

other traditionally male interests.



These are the guys you can

take to the opera, symphony and ballet. The perfect man, right?

Depends on whom you talk to.



Let's step back a minute and look at the where and how of the

existence of the metrosexual man. Simply put, he is a by-product

of feminism and the changing roles and related expectations of

women. As women have moved into (previously) male dominated

environments and roles, it has caused a shift in the male-female

balance. Women are now active participants in industry, politics

and the professions- to name a few.



However, as they have left

their old jobs as homemakers and full-time domestic caregivers,

they left a lot of empty space to be filled. Childcare providers

and the domestic cleaning industry could provide some of this.

The problem was all the "other" stuff women had always done.



Men were therefore called upon to contribute more to the raising

of children, housework, cooking, shopping, etc. Their sons were

being exposed a new role model, a dad who took on jobs and

chores that had traditionally belonged to mom.



Young boys

themselves were also being tapped to do housework and help with

siblings, exposing them to a new way of being a male in our

society. Women had become more independent and financially and

professionally successful. Men had become more domestic and had

to soften their style as they moved into more traditionally

feminine roles.



A new social order had evolved that worked for everyone, right?

Not necessarily. We never take on something new without giving

something up. So, what has been discarded? Clearly defined

social roles and the expectations that come with them- for

starters.



Suddenly there was a new blueprint for how men and

women should relate- especially in the world of dating. However,

it was unclear and depending upon whom you asked, you would get

a different answer. Usher in the confusion and frustration

surrounding dating in the new millennium.



Women ask questions such as:



* who asks who out * who calls who * who pays * who makes

decisions about where to go, etc. * What are the expectations at

the end of the date * how soon should we become intimate



Women comment on:



* his lack of initiative in calling or asking her out * his

expectation that they will go dutch * how he never offers to

pick her up * his overall lack of assertiveness * his saying he

will call, but not following through * his too polished style

which lacks a certain spark of masculinity * his taking longer

to get ready than she does * his crudeness or over aggressive

style * his expectation that they will have sex



Men ask questions such as:



* what do women want * why should a guy have to ask a girl out *

why should the guy always pay * why do women say they want

sensitivity, etc.



, but see guys like that as wimps * why do

women give out such mixed signals in general * why do women seem

to reject nice guys and go for jerks * why can't a woman be the

aggressor



Men comment on:



* women acting spoiled * women wanting their independence, etc.

but not wanting equal responsibility and weight * women

expecting a lot from men, but offering little in return * women

not knowing what they want * women playing games * women's

attraction to "bad boys"



Both women and men verbalize that they are ok with the current

roles that have evolved for them in our society, yet I hear both

talk wistfully about how it was in previous generations.



Back

then; everyone KNEW what was expected from him or her. Life was

predictable. Dating was much simpler and "safer". Men were men

and women were raised to be wives and homemakers. We have gained

something and we have lost something. One thing for sure, we can

never have it both ways.



What's the answer? It is never simple. However, it does involve

better communication in general between men and women. Singles

need to clarify for themselves (first), what kind of partner

they seek and what their expectations from a relationship really

are.



Once a person is clear about what they must have and what

they can't live with, they need to go out and HONESTLY seek

that. Knowing what you want is good. If you turn off someone by

your frankness, he/she was not the someone for you.



So, begin with a self-assessment. Then go out and pursue

interests and environments, which maximize your chances of

meeting compatible singles. And remember, there is no perfect

person. He may be overly fussy with his hair, take longer in the

bathroom than most women, be less ambitious in his work life

than you are and put your cooking to shame.



However, if he's

sensitive to YOUR needs, easy to talk to and fun to be with,

great with kids and very supportive of your goals, he may be the

guy of your dreams.